Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
