I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
