I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
