why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
