True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
