and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
