I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
