Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
