we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
