Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Your dad touched me again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
