I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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