Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
