i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
