Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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