dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
