I hate your face
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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