No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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