Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize