Sry I called you an 8
"it" just moved
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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