the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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