doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
