what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
