swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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