I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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