Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
