Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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