Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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