Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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