Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
