I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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