Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
