Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
