he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
