Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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