I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
