I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
