i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
