Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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