UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
