He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
