No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
