How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
