I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
