I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize