need another drink. this is the easiest way
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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