In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
