Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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