There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
