Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
