We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
