I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
