Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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