she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
