They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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