i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
