I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
