So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
