Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
