Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
